Why so serious? 70 funny quotes about being single to make you smile (instantly)

Why so serious? 70 funny quotes about being single to make you smile (instantly)

Being single isn’t the worst thing in the world and when you get comfortable with it you can have fun with these 70 fabulous quotes.

Let’s start!

First 25 funny quotes that summ up single life

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I think, therefore I’m single. Liz Winston

There are two types of single people.
1: desperately wants to be in a relationship.
2: desperately wants to remain single for as long as possible.
I am both.

Do you ever wanna kiss your boyfriend? … Then you realize you don’t have one. Unknown

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s a common sense leaving your body. Unknown

When you’re single, your pockets will jingle. Anonymous

People ask me “Why are you still single? You’re attractive, intelligent and creative.” My reply is “I’m overqualified”. Unknown

The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor. Sex and the City

When I’m single all I see are couples being happy. When I’m in relationship all I see are singles being happy. Unknown

A boyfriend would be nice but I’m already in a commited relationship with alcohol and poor decisions. Unknown

Enjoy being single, be selfish with your time, money and space: cancel plans, buy shit you don’t need – sleep like a fucking starfish. @sgrstk

You don’t need to have two people to have two wine glasses. Unknown

Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30. Unknown

As a self described idealistic I never consider myself as single. I like to say that I’m in between romances at the moment. Carl Henegan

Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility. Michael Douglas

And the princess lived happily ever after in her own big castle with all of her own money and she took care of herself. The end. Unknown

I’m single because I don’t need anyone to ruin my life. I’m ruining it perfectly on my own. Unknown

Superman: single. Batman: single. Spider-man: single. I get it now… I ‘m single because I ‘m superhero! Unknown

Yeah, I’m single, but you’re gonna have to be amazing to change that. Unknown

One day I want someone to look at me and say “That’s her. She is the one.” And not follow it with “who ate all the donuts.” Unknown

Single and fabulous, exclamation point. Carrie Bradshaw

I been single for so long, I don’t even know how to flirt anymore. Them: ur cute. Me: so do u like bread? @scouse_ma

I am not really single. I am dating myself. I take myself out to eat. I buy myself clothes. I am awesome. Unknown

Changing my relationship status from “single” to “still single”. Unknown

Getting into a relationship seem like a good idea but so was getting on a titanic and look what happened there. Unknown

My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude. Unknown

Best 20 funny image quotes about being single

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am so happy since I got rid of you! Unknown

Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask why you’re still married. Unknown

Flowers and candy? How about fire and brimstone? Unknown

Honestly I’m probably single because I never forwarded those chain messages in 2008. Unknown

I’m single but I ignore people like I’m taken. Unknown

Being single is getting expensive. These AA batteries just don’t last like they used to. Unknown

Being single sucks. All I can do is whatever the hell I want. Unknown

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge. Unknown

99% of socks are single and you don’t see them crying about it. Unknown

When your family asks about your love life. “I ‘m gonna die alone. And merry Christmas!” Unknown

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence… “Well that didn’t go as planned.” Unknown

I’m single by choice. Not my choice. But it’s still a choice. Unknown
(This one is my favorite. Which one do you like the most? Leave a reply here and let me know your thoughts.)

I’m like 106% single. Unknown

Me: wonders why I am single. Me: Spends all free time hiding in my house. Unknown

Somebody left a grocery list in this cart that said: Cheese and shit like that. So my soulmate is out there. Unknown

What’s the difference between calendar and me? A calendar has dates. Unknown

Doing something weird and thinking “This is why I ‘m single”. Unknown

I hate that feeling when everyone around me is in a relationship and I’m awkwardly sitting there like… I love my dog. Unknown

My friend think single life is: fuck bitches, get money. What single life really is: do dishes, fold laundry. Unknown

Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally. Unknown

Last 25 funny quotes to make you smile again

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Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh what it is to see couples fight all day, hey! Unknown

The day a man makes me happier than chips and queso with a frozen margarita is the day I’ll get married. Unknown

Single |sin•gle| (adjective) – Too fabulous to settle. Unknown

Without a doubt… the worst part of being a single woman was having to take care of your own car. Unknown

I don’t really do that whole ‘single life’ thing. I’m kind of heads down and get things done. Ed Sheeran

I’m not single. I’m just romantically challenged. Unknown

Yes, I am single. No, I am not available. Unknown

Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air. Unknown

The best thing about being a single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours. Left. Right. Middle. Wherever. Unknown

It’s called FLIRTING when you are in a relationship but it is called BEING FRIENDLY when you are single. Unknown

I’m single because I was born that way. Unknown

The advantage of being single on Valentine ‘s day? You can just stay in your pyjamas and drink wine all day. Unknown

Everybody’s has a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I’m just like I love food. Unknown

The only fun part of being single is how much fun married people mistakenly assume I’m having every weekend. Unknown

I don’t blame Disney for my unrealistic expectations of men. I blame Tom Hiddleston. Unknown

Beyoncé has been “Crazy in love” “Dangerously in love” and “Drunk in love”. I can’t even find a guy I like. Unknown

Men in bars constatly remind me why I’m better off without them. Unknown

I just got paid. Pretty excited to spend that money… on myself. Unknown

No I am not single. I am in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend live in a future. Unknown

I have a boyfriend. Oh wait, no. No, that’s a fridge. I have a fridge. Unknown

Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status, they should have ‘independently owned and operated ‘. Unknown

I have been single for so long I forgot how to spell relatsingleship. Unknown

When your mum said she wanted the best for you she was talking about me. Unknown

Wake up. Kick ass. Repeat. Unknown

I’ve been single for a while and I have to say it’s going well. Like … it’s working out. I think I’m the one. Emily Heller

Final thoughts

I was literally smiling writing this post. My favorite funny quote about being single is probably the one with glass of wine in the picture, maybe because I was in the same situation.

What is your favorite funny quote about being single? Would you like to add another one here? Please let me know in the comment section below!

Do you like this quotes collection? Do you know someone single who needs a smile on their face? Share this page!
I’m gonna share it with a friend of mine J.M. 🙂

Further reading

Blazepress: 27 Posts About Being Single That Are Hilarious

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